Biomom and Hospital

Today the Visitation Worker called to say we were on for this morning's visit.

An hour later, she called back to say it's been cancelled. Biomom was waiting for a ride to the hospital.

We have our normal visit scheduled for tomorrow. Don't know if it will happen.

I was informed another visit had been scheduled for Friday as well. Didn't know about this one.

Visitation worker changed the time for tomorrow's visit a couple times then decided it could stay how it's set up. Don't know if Biomom will still be in the hospital or not so...in limbo...again.

Didn't hear anything from the SW today. So sad that the Social Workers are having such a difficult time finding a fos-adopt family who will love Moose regardless if he happens to have any neurology issues.  I truly don't believe he does. He is a BEAUTIFUL blond haired, blue eyed baby boy.

Time is running out. I really don't want him to go to a respite house, back to my house, back to a respite house if I have to fly back to Arizona again, back to my house, then a forever family's home...praying for God's will to be done and trusting God's plan is so much better than mine.

6 Month Check Up

Moose had his 6 month check up today even though he turns 7 months on Saturday. He has gained a pound and grown an inch since the last time we were in. The poor baby got an oral vaccine, and 4 shots. He was such a good sport about the whole ordeal. It wasn't until several hours later that his legs really started hurting and in momma's arms was where he wanted to snooze. Steve made dinner tonight because of that and it was w-o-n-d-e-r-f-u-l!!!!

Moose and I were playing in the waiting room when 2 ladies walked in, 1 made a bee line for Moose, scooped him out of my arms and I was barely able to ask if she was _____ (His biomom's name). No, "Hi, I'm ___. Can I please hold him..." Nope, just zipped over and yanked him away from me. The things she talked about to her mom were quite interesting. Out of the blue she informed me he is number 6 and she is pregnant with number 7. I know this. I also know, although she didn't tell me this part, that she doesn't have custody of ANY of her children. Funny how she left out that part.  Eventually we went into the exam room. Biograndma stayed in the waiting room. When it was time for the shots, Biomom left - apparently she's never been in the room when any of her children have received their shots. Whatever.

After the doctor's appt, we visited my Grandma and made her a birthday lunch. Moose was super good, as always while we were there.   We came home in time for the kids to get home from school.   I had multiple phone calls to deal w/since it was a bad Alzheimer's day for my grandma.

I talked to my dad tonight - he came home from the hospital today and we discussed when I will fly out to Tucson to visit. I leave on the 8th of December which led to another e-mail to Moose's SW - please, please, please find Moose in incredible family before then.

Hoping he gets a good night's sleep tonight poor baby- 4 shots and he's cutting his two bottom teeth. You wouldn't know unless he's munching on your knuckles then you can start to feel the tiny teeth protrude.

Anyways, off to book Airline tickets. Still wrapping my head around the fact that my mom died of pancreatic cancer 3 years ago, my dad is dying of lung cancer and my grandma has Alzheimer's.....

Grieving

I need to call Moose's SW on Monday.

My dad's situation has continued to get worse. The latest diagnosis: Stage 4 Metastisized Lung Cancer. His prognosis is months to live. Darlene wants me to fly out there in the next week or 2 and visit w/my dad and they will get married while I'm there.

My Grandma's Alzheimer's is another situation that involves daily visits and calls every two hours throughout the day. 

I am grieving the loss of Moose because we aren't necessarily finishing our time with him the way I thought we would. We've always been committed to keeping "our" babies until they start their happily ever after with their forever families. Moose's SW has been "very particular" about finding him a new placement - a fos-adopt home. I don't know if she's truly even looking.   The trial has been continued until 2 weeks from now. I've been told a lot of trials are being continued until the new year. Because of my dad's situation, I'll be flying to Arizona at least 3 times in the next few months.  I don't want to take Moose with me and it's not fair to put him into a respite situation over and over. I had wanted this to be like other times w/"our" other babies where they had a meeting w/ a new family, multiple visits, etc. before they moved permanently with the new family. I don't want to do anything that will make the situation worse for this sweet little momma's boy. He was laughing big belly laughs for Steve tonight. Melted my heart.  Esp. after multiple conversations w/Darlene about my dad...and conversations w/my grandma like when Chinese food was brought up and she said how long it's been since she's eaten any chinese food. We ate it for lunch together last Saturday :(  I feel guilty making Moose go with me to visit my grandma every day and all of the other appointments I've had to go with her too but he has truly been unbelievable. However, it will be much easier doing the Arizona visits and Grandma visits without this precious baby.  My guilty conscience will be absolved with not lugging him all over the place.

Another reason I'm grieving is Moose has truly been the happiest, cutest, most amazing baby ever, our time is running short because of MY extenuating circumstances and he will be the last baby we have until my Grandma goes to Heaven and that hurts my heart. Both my dad and my grandma will be gone before another baby can be welcomed with open arms into my home. I can't even begin to express how much I adore each and every baby we've been blessed to love on. Fostering babies is my passion. It's what I'm good at. It's my sweet spot. It's what I was created for. It's what I was born to do. My heart won't be complete until I can do it again and I'm already missing having a baby when Moose hasn't even left yet. I absolutely treasure these last days with him. How I will miss him, his smile, the way he chews on my knuckles, the way he is ticklish, the smiles he gives me, the way he loves Shane, the way he munches on Shelby's powerchair joystick hardware, the way he melts into my body when we snuggle, the way he devours his food, oh my goodness...so many transitions coming up, grateful beyond words for God granting us this memorable time with Moose and praying for his new home.

Thanksgiving

It's been a Thanksgiving week full of blessings but along with those blessings have been trials. My Grandma has been diagnosed with Alzheimer's and my dad has been diagnosed with melanoma. He starts radiation on his brain today. There are lesions which have been bleeding in his brain plus swelling in the area which is causing him to have severe headaches which are being helped with Morphine. His left arm is numb. He has short term memory loss. There are lesions in the liver and lungs as well. There are waiting to find out which strain of Melanoma he has to see if he will be starting chemo. He's been in the hospital for a week.


Yesterday for Thanksgiving, we had our best friends over with their twin boys plus Tammy's brother plus I picked up my grandma to join us. Some comic relief on the way to my house - she was sitting in the passenger seat w/her poodle on her lap. We pulled to a stop at a traffic light. The car to my right had a yorkie on the driver's lap. My grandma made K.C. (the toy poodle) "wave" to the yorkie. The driver of the other car, made his yorkie "wave" back to K.C. - crazy cute. Definitely helped since by that point K.C. had been whining for a solid 25 minutes while Nanny and I tried to hold a decent conversation - mainly of me repeating things I've told her every day for the past 2 weeks.

The older Shelby (my 11 year old daughter) becomes, the more significant her cognitive delays become (she was born at 29 weeks and had a hemorrhage shortly before birth) - she has multiple special needs including using a powerchair for mobility.

The ironic thing about brain issues w/my dad, my grandma, and my daughter??? It's our foster baby who has a neurologist appt next week!!!

Tears at Church

Today we went to visit my Grandma (like I've done almost every day for the past 1 1/2 weeks) but this time I brought Moose and the rest of the crew with me. We picked up Chinese food, ate lunch, hung out and Moose had a blast. He really, really likes my Grandma and she always tells me what a good baby he is :)

Tonight at church, for the first time with Moose, I got "paged" to get him. I arrived in the nursery to find him in tears. He never cries in there. Poor baby.   We went to the Parent's Room, he liked watching the Pastor on the TV screen then we joined Steve in the main room during the last 2 songs and Moose thought that was just THE BEST!!! :)  He has great taste!!

Trial - Continued

I received a phone call this afternoon from Moose's SW and she informed me that Trial didn't happen today based on a different trial in progress and it now won't happen until December.

Hmmm....I really thought Moose would be someone's Christmas present of a lifetime...maybe he'll be ours!!! :)

Cancelled yet again

I called the worker this morning to verify if Biomom was feeling better and planning on a visit. If she was, I was going to tweak Moose's nap. The worker and I had a great conversation. She had just called Biomom herself, woke her up, and Biomom still had a fever but was planning to come for the visit. The worker basically told her no, you're not.  So, Monday's visit, today's visit and tomorrow's visits are all cancelled. Tomorrow is the trial. I already have a call into the court SW for Moose to ask her to let me know what the verdict is. It's always our prayer that God's will be done. I think I know what the judge will say...but I've been warned this judge makes some unusual rulings.  I am a planner and would like to know if Moose will be here for Thanksgiving, for Christmas, etc. In the long run, does it really matter? No, but I appreciate when the SW tell me how the court dates/trials, etc. go.

I am trying to patiently wait for the pictures from yesterday.

I captured a great photo of Moose today with a huge smile so that will have to hold me for the moment!!

Due to the continuing effects of our family emergency, there will be more driving tomorrow, poor Moose but tomorrow's appt is one of the most critical appts thus far since this whole ordeal exploded last Thursday.

Prof Pics

Oh my goodness...we've had a family "emergency" so I've been outrageously busy the last few days and I truly can't give Moose enough credit for how amazingly well he has done with everything, rolling with the punches, doing better than usual with all the vehicle traveling and displaying his super happy disposition wherever we are.

Today was finally the professional picture day - a girlfriend has a studio in her backyard and has photographed now 4 of "my" 7 foster blessings and I can't begin to describe how incredible the pictures turn out. The hardest part? Waiting to see them!!!!  Some of the shots Moose was sitting up - he is getting so good at this - and his smile - oh, it's to die for!!! :)

Biomom was sick so she cancelled her visit (honestly, I would've had to cancel to due the family emergency and appointments but glad I didn't have to). Her next visit is set for tomorrow. Her trial starts this week too. Can't wait to find out the judge's verdict.

Beyond grateful for God's grace and the smile Moose puts in my heart especially in times of incredible stress like now.

Indents

Today was the first time in 8 weeks that Moose spent 4 hours w/Steve and the kids and overall, he did awesome - sooo relieved!!  He also chose to show off while on Shelby's bed that he can roll and sat really well on our bed while Steve was in our room hanging out w/the big kids.

Tonight when the big boys were grocery shopping, Shelby told me "Mom, he's going to have indents on his cheeks when he gets older because of all the kissing we do to him!"

 We ♥ "our" boy!!! :)

"Flea Bites"

Yesterday Moose had a visit w/Biomom and the SW called me to find out what time the visit was scheduled for since Biomom refuses to meet with her so the SW figured she'd just go to the visit to meet Biomom. Apparently Biomom complained again about Moose having flea bites.  The SW called me and asked me to set up an appt to have him taken to the doctor and have the doctor write a note stating what the small pink spots are for so they can have that for trial next week. Biomom showed the SW and the visitation worker and both ladies denied what Moose has are flea bites.

So this morning, I called and was able to make a doctor's appointment and low and behold, the dots are part of his eczema. The diaper area dots are a yeast infection so the doctor prescribed a medication to heal that. I make copies of the doctor's note and sent two with the visitation worker when she came over later to take Moose to his visit - 1 for her and 1 for Biomom. Poor baby - he was finally taking a good nap and I tried to transfer him to Visitation Worker's car seat without waking him up but it didn't work. He cried the whole way there. The Worker called me when she was 5 minutes away from my house when she was bringing him back and he was screaming - poor lil guy. I took him out of his car seat and immediately starting loving on him. I confirmed w/Visitation Worker next week's visits when she surprised me with a Monday visit.  A different visit next week might be changed due to trial. Today the time changed for the visit 4 separate times. Good grief!!  As soon as Moose and I got back inside I realized he had had a blow out - no wonder he was extra miserable, plus he was crazy hot since they had bundled him up and he can't stand being too warm + it makes his eczema spread.

Anyways, we changed our outfits - he was kind enough to spread the blow out :) and had a good evening. The doctor said only bathe him 2 times a week. :( We love our bath time ... oh well, we'll really enjoy it the two days we're allowed to indulge!!  Tomorrow will be the first time in 8 weeks I'm leaving him with my hubby since I'll be in the car for a total of 2 hours over a 3 hour period. Praying he does well for Steve. Moose is definitely a Momma's Boy!!!

Tracking down Biomom

Today was a very productive CPS day - I rec'd a call re: payment from 2 foster babies ago that they will send me the check this week for the second month of emergency placement rate and the check will be for more than I had calculated it would be for.

We are still waiting for the other SW to get her act together to turn in paperwork so we can be reimbursed for the special needs rate for four months for that baby.

Our current foster blessing who we've had for almost 8 weeks - the SW is actually looking into why he's not in the system so we might actually get paid in the near future for him - sweet!

During a conversation w/a SW, she asked what time Biomom's visit was tomorrow. I told her. She said Biomom refuses to have a meeting with her so the SW has to track down the Biomom at her child's visit. Sad.

I found Moose's Biomom and Biodad on Facebook last night so my curiosity is satiated since now I know what they both look like.

Moose is sitting better and better - so very proud. He is also becoming much more vocal - of course at the times when it would be appreciated if he was quiet but that just adds to the cuteness!!! :)

Meeting Biomom

Biomom has trial next week and she is supposed to have 7 hours of "make up" visits occur before then (1 that the visitation worker messed up, 2 that biomom cancelled due to being sick and 1 hour from when visitation worker was late to my house). 1 of those "make up" sessions was supposed to happen today and I was going to meet biomom for the first time. I was actually excited since I've heard so much about her and am really curious to see just how much resemblance there is between her and Moose.

Biomom had pretrial today and apparently called the visitation worker to tell her that she was told to take parenting classes and had to cancel today's visit to attend an orientation for the class.

First thought - bummer, I don't get to meet her.

Second thought - parenting classes? As in, if you complete them, you might get your baby back?  I guess I had it in the back of my mind that due to what happened to her other children, it would be a pretty good conclusion that the rights for Moose would be terminated as well. Maybe not. The plot thickens...again!!!

Meanwhile, Mr. Cuteness decided that on 2 of his naps he would wake up and roll to his belly. It was so cute when I went to go get him, he seemed bewildered that he was on his tummy.

More big news: He can sit on his own!!!! I'm right there and sometimes we have a boppy behind him, sometimes, I'm right behind him but he was doing it multiple times today. I'm so proud!!!

He still isn't too impressed w/the rice cereal. I can't wait to start the fruits and veggies.

He is just growing up so quickly right before my eyes all of a sudden. That whole 6 month thang :)

The pictures from the baby dedication came in today - oh my goodness, precious and adorable!!! :)

Baby Dedication

Yesterday's photography session didn't go as planned since my friend injured her back the day before so we rescheduled for Monday.

Last night we went to my best friend's house and had such an incredible time. I love, love, love her family and just feel so at home at her house. Moose loved her kids and dogs and other pets.

Tonight Moose was dedicated by the Pastor of our church in a private celebration in our Pastor's office. Moose did fabulous during the entire event - prayers, pictures, etc.  Seemed pretty darn appropriate how the weekend the dedication happened to work out best for Pastor B and us just "happened" to be on Orphan Sunday!!!

Moose started rice cereal today. He is definitely a "helper" during the feeding process ;)

Really hoping Moose starts sleeping through the night. I'm dragging!

6 Months Old Today

We had a good, easy day today - We had a fun morning, Moose left around 12:30 for his visit w/Biomom, he got back around 3:30. I will take him on Monday to his visit and guess who I get to meet? Yup, Biomom!!!  He was in a good mood when he got home, and we took advantage of that by taking some insanely cute pics of him wearing Shane's football pads and/or helmet since Shane had to turn those back in tonight. We had a good evening and he went to bed well. Here's to hoping being six months old is what it takes for him to start sleeping through the night!!! ;)

Binky Anyone?

We met the new visitation worker today. "He looks really familiar" she says as soon as she sees Moose. Apparently all of biomom's other kids look the same and look just like her.

She came back with a list of things biomom wants back including the 2 dollar tree type bottles Moose came to me with and the pacifier. Apparently she's used this binky with all 6 kids and wants to use it with baby #7. WHAT??? Aren't binkies like toothbrushes and supposed to be thrown away after a few months? I get saving special outfits, stuffed animals, blankets, etc but a binky??? Are you kidding me???

We had a great afternoon. While Moose was at his visit, I did a bunch of errands and one of the places I went to was Toys R Us. Tonight Steve wound up playing with one of the new toys I bought Moose and asked, "Where did this one come from?" "It fell into the basket today," was my response. He didn't even bat an eye. Just accepted it. Love that man!

While having tummy time on the floor after Shelby came home from school (She was doing her 20 minutes of reading homework), Moose and I were playing with old and errr new toys and eventually I pulled him onto my tummy and next thing I know, my shirt is covered with spit up. You're welcome for the new toys bud. You didn't need to show your appreciation that way!! ;)

Tonight Shelby wanted me to watch her play wii so Moose hung out in the jumperoo and watched Shelby, looked at the tv, interacted with me and chewed on the jumeroo toys. He did awesome!

He turns 6 months old tomorrow.
Love him!!! :)     <3

Gross Motor

Today was a day of firsts for Moose: He rolled over and back to where he started from!!! In the past it would be from his back to his tummy then he was stuck. Today he made it all the way back to his back!! AND he is now scooting backwards while on his belly. He is sitting better (one of his bouncy chairs is almost ready to be put in the garage since he prefers the more upright styles), he is doing better in the bumbo, he is holding himself up a little sturdier while I'm carrying him and he's drinking 6 ounces now vs. 5.

In Visitation News - his worker called me today and told me somebody else will be picking him up.  The social worker doesn't want back to back visits any more so those have to be changed AND to make things more fun, he still has 7 hours to make up before mid-November/Biomom's trial so they wanted to know what days I can bring him to the visitation area.  So tomorrow he will have the 3rd worker in 3 visits transport him to see his momma. Nothing like consistency. Gee whiz.

He had his assessment for social/emotional development and Mr. Flirt aced it of course!! So proud. The therapist later e-mailed me to tell me she couldn't e-mail the report due to confidentiality. She has to mail it. Hmmm. Interesting.

Anyways, had so much fun playing w/my little munchkin today - love, love, love him!