Emotions Running High

This morning Shelby, the Baby and I met Darlene (my dad's girlfriend) for breakfast. This was the first time I've seen her since my dad's Celebration of Life.   Multi-tasking to the extreme - trying to feed Shelby, bottle feed baby and eat my own breakfast...made for some quick decision making at times :) I was grateful for the conversation to flow well.

After we arrived home, I got everything ready for Baby's meeting with his potential future mommy. I was told to wait in the adoption waiting room for about 15 minutes then I went into another room where the possible mommy + her social worker were. The 4 of us - both SWs plus both mommies sat at a table, Baby stood on my lap and we discussed everything possible to give the new mommy a better idea of Baby's special needs, his routine, his meds, his quirks, etc.  I had a boatload of paperwork for them w/all different pertinent information and pictures, of course. I feel really good about this family and can't wait to hear from the Social Worker tomorrow what her decision was.  If they do say yes, they wouldn't permanently take him for a couple weeks due to their vacation plans as well as Baby's social worker's 2 week vacation.  I was mentally preparing myself for him to leave soon...now he's not....maybe they won't even say yes...roller coaster of emotions going up and down and up and down...have loved him with a passion for 19 weeks and knew this time was coming and am so ecstatic for him but at the same time, I will miss my little heart healer....

We didn't have long at home before we left to go eat dinner w/Darlene. We went to Shane's favorite restaurant and overindulged!!!  I learned that Darlene will most likely be moving closer to her family in the next year or so. I have dozens of conflicting emotions about her and as we were saying goodbye, Darlene gave us the box with my dad's ashes. (Due to accessibility issues, she is doing a different spreading of the ashes than we will.)

We got home, Baby had a fun time playing (we were finally HOME!!!) and taking his bath. We did our usual routine. I am exhausted - emotionally, physically...etc.