Father's Day 2012

Summary: Today we went out to breakfast, church, came home, and Papa &
Donna came over for dinner.

Digging Deeper: I'm an only child. My mom died almost 4 years ago from pancreatic cancer. My dad died 6 months ago today from lung cancer. My dad was not an easy man to love and my emotional scars run deep from the verbal and emotional abuse I suffered as a child. He was an alcoholic and a smoker. He rec'd a liver transplant when I was 19. He received a kidney transplant from his longtime girlfriend 3 months before my mom died.  He stopped smoking a few years ago however it was the effects of the smoking that got him in the end. People don't understand how I can be sad he's gone when he wasn't a kind person to me up until around the time Shane and Shelby were born. I think it boils down to the loss of second chances, the ending of any possibilities of him becoming the man I always dreamed of - someone who would: say "I love you," someone who would give me kisses or hugs, someone who would say, "I'm proud of you."   Ironically, I've loved on the "orphan" for years thru emergency placement infant foster care and now I am the one without a mother or father....doing life the best I can w/my own issues, a hubby w/disabilities, a daughter with severe disabilities and foster blessings, who in my current case - was born with no signs of life and a grandma w/dementia.